They Didn't Teach Me That in College

“They didn’t teach me that in college.”

This old chestnut gets tossed around quite a bit. And while it may be true, it is not useful. At some point you become responsible for what you know.

What if you committed to being a student FOREVER? What if you gave yourself permission to keep learning? What if you derived excitement, instead of dread, from hearing an unfamiliar reference?

“They didn’t teach me that in college” is a form of hiding. Pointing the finger at someone else for what they didn’t teach you is a defense mechanism. It is reactive. And it keeps you exactly where you are. No growth in sight.

Let’s take Show Boat as an example… because this one has gotten more “they didn’t teach me that in college” responses than I could possibly count.

If someone references Show Boat, and you have never studied Show Boat, that might make you feel embarrassed in the moment. You have heard enough people reference it over the years that you know that it is a piece you SHOULD have read. You don’t want to look foolish. So you blurt out, “They didn’t make us read that in college.” Blame someone else, shut it down, and the conversation moves away from the thing that is making you feel small. Phew. You told the truth. They really DIDN’T make you read that in college. You stood up for yourself.

In the moment, that might ease the feeling… but it doesn’t actually solve the problem. At the end of that conversation, you still don’t know Show Boat AND, even worse, you haven’t made a commitment to yourself to learn about it.

Pointing the finger at yourself is the more proactive choice. Acknowledging where you can grow is the first step in actually growing. Rather than giving in to feelings of embarrassment, if someone mentions Show Boat and you aren’t familiar with it, recognize that there is a gap in your knowledge. Instead of shutting down the conversation, use it as an opportunity to learn. Instead of “They didn’t teach us that in college,” you might say something like:

“Can you say more about that?”

“Where can I get a copy of the script?”

“I’d love to learn more. Can you point me to a resource?”

Or if you are more of the silent type, write down the reference and make a point to look it up and learn it on your own.

Replace Show Boat with literally any reference that is unfamiliar. The name of a director. A play. A composer. A producer. A novel. A film. An historical event. A scientific study. A country. A religion. Etc.

The first time you hear about something, you couldn’t possibly know it. Give yourself a break! That is the nature of hearing about something for the first time.

But…

The second time you hear something referenced, and you still don’t know it, that’s on you.